Peppa’s Lovely World
Object Number: 2
Object Type: Pataphysical Altered DVD Copy
Object Threat: Tender
Object Class: Reluctant
Object Status: Contained
Object Department: The Department of Metaphysical and Pataphysical Affairs
Biography:
Object 2 is an altered DVD copy of an untitled episode of the children’s show “Peppa Pig”. The cover art of the dvd case containing Object 2 is composed of 3 central areas, the first is the title written a cartoonish style font reading “Peppa’s Lovely World”, the second is the 3 main characters of “Daddy Pig”, “Mummy Pig” and “George Pig” being present while “Peppa Pig” is strangely not present, and the third is a separate line of text present towards the bottom of the dvd case that reads, “Property of Langstrum Inc, where old joys are repackaged and reformed into eternal wonders”. Notably present within the case is a single scrap of paper with a short amount of text that has been written in a substance similar to some form of blood, the text reads, “If we write the lives for those we create, does imply that something is the author of our lives?”.
Information:
Object 2 was first brought to our attention when a gift wrapped parcel arrived at a Department of Metaphysical and Pataphysical Affairs site with a note reading, “Dear T.I.M.E.R, I want to show you that not all of our “paranormal” products are disgusting, horrific or down right brain twisting, while my employees are talent, unfortunately they are consumed by personal pursuits and passions, I have taken the time to prepare this gift myself, may it be a small window into the truth of what I seek. Best Regards L.H”.
After researchers conducted numerous tests and scans on Object 2 it was determined that there were no obvious paranormal traits or occurrences were present. Despite the lack of paranormality 2 student staff members were assigned to sit down and watch the entirety of Object 2 and report any sort of paranormality that may be subject to. 3 minutes into watching Object 2 both the student researchers complained about the inability to move their legs as well as the seemingly paralysis of their left arms. After another 5 minutes had passed both student researchers began shouting that they couldn’t move, in addition the researchers ability to speak began degrading to the point that they could no longer form coherent sentences. Finally after a further 10 minutes had passed both student researchers were sucked into the screen displaying Object 2 and were later find by another junior researcher inside the TV displaying Object 2.
After this had been reported to the site’s head researcher, a expedition was authorized that would be carried about by Major Alux Bandoo
Expedition Log: M.E.E (Mortal Life, Environment and Exploration)
Mortal life:
While exploring the pataphysical world of Object 2, all mortal life observed was found to be completely illogical in the realms of biology, societal structure and economic viability. In terms of biology, all inhabitants of Object 2 possess no flesh, blood or bones, but instead they are made up of a highly thick gelatinous substance, said gelatinous substance has been described as highly durable, damage immune and even highly adaptable which may explain some characters change in appearance both subtle and drastic. Interestingly autopsies performed on the inhabitants of Object 2 revealed the presence of a large organ which seems to covert food and drink into more of the gelatinous substance the inhabitants are made out of.
In terms of societal structure there isn’t much of one present as while the inhabitants have jobs, they don’t really know what their job is or why they are doing it, this was revealed when one of our agents interviewed “Mr Rabbit” in an office building and when asked “what his job was?” Mr Rabbit responded with a heart laugh and simply told our agent to “Have a good day”, in addition when asking other inhabitants what their jobs were they would simply point at an object or seem confused at the question being asked. Additionally while investigating emergency service stations, our agents found them to be drastically unequipped, pathetically redundant and they actually discovered that much of their equipment didn’t actually function properly.
Finally In terms of economics, the only type of currency within Object 2 is chocolate coins which individuals seem to both pay with and eat, in addition there doesn’t appear to be an accurate representation of how much or how little the coins are actually worth, and there also appears to be no form of large scale banking system.
Environment:
The Environment of the pataphysical world of Object 2 is completely mysterious in 3 main areas. The first is the view as the entire world can only be viewed and traversed in a restricted 2d fashion, this while being completely paranormal is also difficult has despite things being beyond the 2d restriction it is utterly impossible to reach these locations, at least for any of our staff. As a side note numerous forms of animal life and even mortal inhabitants of Object 2 have been seen being able to move in a much more freeing manner then we are capable of, but those who have seen the way inhabitants achieve moving this way have described as, “Uncomfortably wrong”.
The second is the day and nigh cycle which seems to last only 28 minutes, this is in line with a typical episode of the peppa pig tv show, it isn’t really known why this is the case and unfortunately a concrete answer to this mystery is yet to be found. Additionally possibly due to the extremely short day and night cycle, plants within Object 2 don’t grow and appear to be made out of the same substances that the inhabitants are made out of, as well as that Object 2’s sun doesn’t actually produce any form of heat.
The third and final area is Object 2’s animal life which is a contraindicate mess due to the animalistic nature of the inhabitants.
Exploration:
In order to gain as much knowledge about Object 2’s pataphysical nature, Major Alux Bandoo split her team into 2 distinctive groups. Below is the information found by each team while exploration Object 2.
The Eastern Team- were tasked with walking as far east as they could. At first the teams experience was dull as they simply greet the local inhabitants, observed weather patterns and took general notes. This all change however when they came to a beach, while on this beach and looking towards the east the team could see another island that was slightly different to the one they were on, at first concerned because they didn’t possess a boat, one of the eastern team agents discovered that they could simply walk on the water due to it being made up of the same gelatinous substance present throughout Object 2. After around 3 days of real world time the eastern team finally made it to a land that was simply to the one they had just come from, but also very different as they appeared to be only humanoid’s inhabiting this land isn’t of animalistic bipedals. As the team kept moving they eventually stumbled upon what looked like a winged human female in a purple dressed and black hair, when asked who she was she introduced herself as, “Nanny Plum, Nanny to princess Holly of The Fairy Kingdom”, and after speaking with this Nanny Plum for sometime she eventually offered to give the team and audience with “King Thistle”.
The Western Team- were tasked with walking as far west was they could. The Western Team’s experience was similar to The Eastern’s Team was they simply walked towards their target with very little happening in the process. Eventually The Western Team reach an area of Object 2 that was completely devoid of life, no inhabitants, no animal life, no planet life, just a barren land with nothing around it. After another few days of walking, The Western Team eventually came upon a massive oil-like shimmering wall, after scanning “The Shimmer” is was made apparent that it was sometime of portal that seemingly lead to multiple different places. At first only half the team stepped trough the portal and when they were asked where they had gone they responded, “We’re definitely not in the same place as we were before, the people look completely different to the one’s we’ve already seen. There’s a sign here, it looks like we’re in a place called “Springfield”. Next around a quarter of the remaining agents walked through the portal and when asked where they were they said, “Deep under the sea, luckily he came with our helmets, looks like we’re in a place called “Bikini Bottom”. Finally the remaining quarter agents step through the portal, but when asked where they had ended up they simply respond, “Nothing, there’s nothing here, we have reached the writer’s end”.
Containment:
Object 2’s containment is simply as it simply remains with a dvd player connected to a dvd that is locked within a cell, in addition Object 2 is located within “Site: Mangelrealitate”.
Additionally because of the unique pataphysical nature of Object 2, a research site was granted to be built within Object 2 as well as numerous desk’s to be built within the cell Object 2 is contained in.
